What I Love Most About A Woman!
Not too long ago, I had a talk with a co-worker about life, masculinity, finances, work, and naturally - women! In that discussion, I hinted that I don’t view marriage as a potential goal for myself. Initially, he assumed I was just kidding. But once he realized I was being serious, he believed I was only expressing that opinion because of some recent negative experience. However, that wasn’t the case.
Since 2022, I've had wonderful experiences and moments with some truly precious and amazing women. I feel fortunate to have spent hours, days, months, and even years connecting with women from various ethnicities and backgrounds. I have no regrets; it was all worthwhile! While a few of them started to show a more serious interest in our relationship, I believe my success with these women came from my honesty from the start, treating them kindly, and being ready to let go of someone I genuinely cared for so she wouldn't waste her time waiting for me to catch up. Although I do NOT wish to marry under the biased laws and regulations of America and do think that people often take relationships too lightly, it would be nice to focus my attention on just one woman. I actually prefer that and even came very close this year! Additionally, another factor that contributed to my success was that I approached each interaction without the expectation that the next woman would be my wife. I simply allowed myself to enjoy their company. To truly enjoy them as human beings - as women.
During this time in my life, I came to understand something about myself. Also, I found out the number one quality I admire in a woman. To start, let me share what I discovered about myself.
“I’m A Movement By Myself”
One of my favorite songs from R&B artist Neyo is, Make Me Better. In this track, he says, “I’m a movement by myself, but I’m a force when we’re together.” When it comes to dating, approaching women, and being on the prowl for a “wife,” the reason I don’t actively pursue women stems from the fact that I have no real role for her to fill (none that most women would be comfortable with anyway). I can handle my “shit” for lack of better words and what I would prefer a woman to do doesn’t take a lot of work.
Growing up, I learned how to clean, do laundry, build furniture, shop, cook, manage a home, and be self-sufficient. Unlike some men, I have no issues balancing domestic responsibilities with a job to earn money. I’ve been doing this since I turned 18. Even during a tough period in 2017 when I was homeless and living in my car for six months, I managed to hold down two jobs. I worked as a janitor at Trident Technical College in North Charleston, SC, and also had a part-time position at a local GNC just a few blocks away. Why is all of this significant? It’s important because I don’t have any gaps for a woman to fill. Whenever I am involved with a woman, I’m not seeking to find a cook or a housekeeper. Would I value a woman who is helpful, considerate, clean, and polite? Absolutely. Who wouldn’t? Getting help is nice!
But the most attractive thing about a woman (to me) is when she can allow herself to be loved, adored, and relished WITHOUT taking it for granted. This is what I LOVE about a woman! But does it have to lead to matrimony? Let’s see!
If I Was A Husband . . .
I can do a lot on my own. Sometimes this seems like a bad thing because whenever people offer their bullet points as to why getting married and having a wife is a good thing, having domestic help is low on the list for me. I can do it! I enjoy turning on my tablet, listening to R&B or Motown, and sipping a drink while I cook. I have an effective system for cleaning my 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom apartment. That being said, even if I were married, I would still prefer to cover 100% of the bills. This isn't about trying to be a "big shot.” Instead, it’s just that I always budgeted and, at one point, was accustomed to living off a single monthly paycheck that had to stretch. Now, I receive my pay more frequently, but knowing that I am the one meeting the needs is simply how I prefer to operate. If I were married, I would only expect my wife to use her money for her manicure, pedicure, hair, and to set aside a little for emergencies each time she gets paid. Beyond that, there wouldn’t be much financially for her to handle.
And while it would be nice to have at least one more child, the first step is finding the right partner for that because raising a child is serious business. I love kids, but I’m happy with the child I have, so marrying just to have more kids isn’t on the table either. With all that said, even though I just described how I would be as a husband, my preference is in dating one woman without the legal hassle that marriage brings.
What I LOVE Most About A Woman
At 32 years old, I can honestly say that the most attractive quality about a woman is when she can rest in her femininity thus allowing me to enjoy it, too. It may come off as lazy or lacking depth, but it’s the truth. I don’t require a woman to do much for me. This doesn’t imply that I want to be with someone who is ungrateful, disrespectful, or takes me for granted. Absolutely not! While some men seek a partner with culinary skills and the cleaning prowess of Martha Stewart, I prioritize physical attraction, maturity, and a sense of adventure.
The most enjoyable moments I’ve experienced were with a woman who was waiting for me to finish cooking dinner, enjoying a lovely date out, relaxing while I gave her a full body massage, or sharing a conversation over a glass of wine. As I mentioned earlier, I can handle a lot on my own . . . but I am NOT a woman. I appreciate women simply because they represent a part of life that I cannot create by myself. The sound of a woman’s laughter, her voice, her beauty, her thoughts, and her presence are all elements I cannot fabricate or replicate. It seems straightforward, right? Not quite.
I’m Chilling!
While I (like many men) am quite easy to satisfy, it’s not simple to find a woman who genuinely embodies what I just talked about. The dating scene has been negatively impacted by social media, TikTok challenges, viral trends, and poor guidance. People are more focused on power dynamics and control rather than just enjoying each other's company. Because of this, I lead the life of a bachelor, yet I remain open to meeting a woman who complements me. The real challenge is in finding her. Sadly, what I’ve realized is that most men aren’t asking for too much. In reality, the qualities we seek from women are ones they should have learned in Pre-K and 1st Grade. Keep your hands and feet to yourself, say “Excuse me,” share, be kind, and treat others the way you wish to be treated; these are the things I teach my daughter, who is still a toddler. I expect her to forget these things, but not grown women. I would expect someone whose been living for 30, 35, or 40 years to know better.
Men, as a whole, are NOT expecting gourmet dinners every time they return home, paired with a glass of bourbon that has 'King' engraved on it. We're simply asking for the basics. Men are very simple, but the world keeps complicating us. Chances are the world will NEVER understand how simple we are - so I keep my life simple on my own!
