The Streets Called, But I Ignored
Shelby Deering says, “Middle children have been known to roll with the punches, show determination and practice loyalty, according to experts, since there’s a longstanding theory that middle children are “forgotten about” and as a result feel the need to make their own way in the world” (What Is ‘Middle Child Syndrome’? 3 Signs To Look For, According to a Psychologist).
Malcolm In The Middle
Being caught between an older sibling and a younger one was truly a unique experience. At times, you find yourself defending the younger sibling from anyone who dares to bother him/her. On other occasions, you’re reminding kids that you’ll tell your big sister or big brother about their annoying behavior. Ironically, as the middle child, you’re constantly swinging from one extreme to another. There were definitely aspects of it that I appreciated. For example, when it came to chores, I was always assigned just the right amount. However, there were also elements I wish I could have avoided or altered. For instance, after my brother Marquis was arrested and later kicked out of the house at 17, I had to take on more responsibility. I didn’t mind stepping up. Yet, I was only 11 years old at the time. I wasn’t sure if I could be as strong, adaptable, and helpful as he had been. But I managed to do it. I believe a lot of that was due to my naturally rebellious nature!
Hell On Wheels
People who know me today would never assume how I actually used to be. There’s a saying that goes, “It’s the quiet ones you gotta watch out for.” As a child, that statement was truly evident in the kind of person I was. Growing up, I was the child you had to be careful with. Even though I was small for my age and looked defenseless, when provoked, bullied, or pushed to the edge, I was literally hell to deal with. In my another article, I allude to just how unorthodox my mentality was; it was only a matter of time before that happened. I can’t count how many calls home, referrals, out-of-school suspensions, and in-school suspension I have received. I’ve long lost track of how many fights I have ever been involved with usually with people much bigger than myself. But what I do remember is that I was never looking for trouble. Whenever I got bullied, felt an injustice had been done to me, or felt targeted, I would go toe-to-toe with whatever and whoever was in my way. It didn’t matter how many people I was up against. It didn’t matter if I knew my chances of winning were slim to none. It didn’t matter if the person had the power to kick me out of school or the ability to arrest me. It was all about proving a point.
What was the point? The point was that I refused to be someone who would take "crap" lying down. I was never going to be a passive victim. I would never just take a punch without giving one back. Back in middle school, I would tell the boys who bullied me, "Make sure your first punch is a good one cuz if I can still stand, we gon have problems." I guess you could say I had Small Dog Syndrome, but for those who ignored the warning, they discovered it wasn't just talk. Sadly, I didn’t fear God, death, prison, jail, or consequences. All I cared about was making sure people would leave me alone!
As a middle school teacher, I frequently encounter students who display some of the same behaviors and characteristics I had during my childhood. They can be rebellious, bold, courageous, and persistent. Yet, this doesn't always have to be viewed negatively!
Why I Chose This Path
I come from a family that I like to refer to as 'Ying and Yang.' On my father's side, there are college-educated individuals, military veterans, and married couples with families. In contrast, my mother's side is quite different. Many of them have faced incarceration, are currently in prison, struggle with addiction, reside in rough neighborhoods, and wouldn't hesitate to pull out a gun. Although many of them are genuinely good people, they are not the type you want to provoke, and if they advise you to keep your distance, it'll be wise to heed that advice. Not heeding that advice could land you on the front a newspaper. Ironically, I was much like that as a child - and to be honest - I still am. I don't seek out trouble, I can count my true friends on one hand, and I prefer to keep to myself not out of fear of conflict, but because I feel I have nothing left to prove. What do I have to prove?
History Repeats Itself
Today, when I gaze into the mirror, I see an educated teacher, blogger, author, and speaker. Each time I insert my key into the door of my 2-bedroom, 2-bathroom luxury apartment, I am reminded that I made a wise decision. What decision is that? The decision to channel the same rebellious, bad boy, and hothead traits I displayed in my youth towards my academic and personal aspirations. Throughout my life, I have faced homelessness, financial struggles, hunger, and a lack of support. I have endured almost every kind of pain you can think of. I have been deceived, slandered, abandoned, neglected, abused, misused, manipulated, and forgotten. I have dealt with fake friends, relatives who don’t deserve the title, and circumstances that seemed intent on bringing me down. Yet, I was too determined to allow any of those experiences to defeat me. I always say, “Life hits hard, that’s okay, just get some licks in, too!”
He Was Right!
Someone once told me this life would eventually work out. As cliché as it may sound, I was advised that if I maintained good grades, achieved a solid GPA, chose either college or the military, and dedicated myself to something I loved, my life would truly turn out well. He was correct! Gary Daniels, my NJROTC instructor in high school, was indeed right. He first met me in 9th grade. He was largely unaware of my background as a troubled child. At least, he didn’t show that he was. Over the course of four years, he pushed me, motivated me, and most importantly - set a positive example. I recall the second time I ran away from home; he was the person I turned to. I will always remember him saying that he understood it was tough for me, but that I was too intelligent to make a foolish choice like living on the street with no end in sight, wasting my life, and to just hold on because graduation was not too far off. I also won’t forget how he refrained from judging me or holding that mistake against me in the months that followed when school resumed. I will forever be thankful for him!
Why I STAY On This Path
As a middle school teacher now, I find that when I encounter students who remind me of my younger self, I make it a point to motivate them to pursue their dreams. I could have easily opted for a life on the streets, selling drugs, joining a gang, and becoming a criminal. Looking back, I would have been good at it seeing how reckless and ruthless I was during my teenage years. I had friends who were in gangs, but they protected. I will never forget when my buddy CJ showed up to work completely high; I knew it as soon as I looked in his bloodshot eyes. He told me something that always stuck with me. He said, “Man you don’t need to be here with us, you need to go ahead and do that teaching that you was talking ‘bout. You ain’t supposed to be here forever.” It was then when I realized God can use anyone, even a strung-out Blood, to open up your eyes.
So, I am truly thankful that I chose a different path. I didn’t stick to this route simply because it was the right choice - I continue on this journey because it has proven effective. It all worked out! Just like when I was a child, I refuse to let anything defeat me. I always aim to give my best effort. I believe you either die trying or you die trying. NO options! Just so happens, I hit a bullseye on when it came to this!
